Bob's Little Acre: Bob Jumps Ship!

Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my attention it is spring. Therefore, I regret to inform you that you are on your own.

All winter I have been tirelessly exposing corruption, undermining tyranny and battling the various nefarious forces that constantly threaten our cherished American freedoms. But folks, keeping the world safe for democracy seriously eats into a girl’s time.

Just yesterday, I noticed that spring beauty was blooming in stripy pink profusion everywhere I essayed to place my dainty foot. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Spring beauty is not a particularly early wildflower. What had happened to the first harbingers of the season?

This is when I noticed – to my shock and horror – that the Bradford pears were turning green. I hadn’t gotten used to their blooming yet! I’d been planning to write a Bob’s Little Acre about them, but by the time I got home to the computer they’d be gone entirely. What was happening here?

What was happening was that while I was chasing nooz, spring had happened without me! I’d been waiting for it for MONTHS, and then when it finally came around I was off promulgating the free and unfettered flow of information upon which Western-style democracy depends. It was like missing your wedding because you’d been counting train cars.

Well, I’ve had it! Please remember that I came to crusadin’ journalism via the garden page. No matter how many lives depend upon my steely-eyed vigilance, no matter how many representative governments topple in favor of tyranny, I can no longer ignore the siren call of dirt! Somehow, the world must survive without me!

Until next week.

This is a long-winded way, Gentle Reader, of saying I’m on vacation. So I beg of you, if evil looms, if autocracy burgeons, if injustice twirls its greasy mustachios –

Call the cops or something. And in the meantime, here are some nice pictures of wildflowers we saw yesterday at Sitton’s Gulch.