Asparagus Part II: The Short Version

Asparagus Part II: Some Further Pointers on “Love Points”

By Robin Ford Wallace

            Part 1 of this article began with a discussion of the human condition as sentient biomass, pursuant to my niece Katy’s comment upon learning about the birds and the bees:  “This is a joke, right?”  It ended with horticultural gender confusion produced by nurserymen’s advertisements for “vigorous new all-male hybrids.”  Somewhere in the middle, we were talking about asparagus.

            We had gotten as far as planting asparagus crowns in a six-inch trench, which by the way, Reader, you should make as long as you have room for.  The rule of thumb for most vegetables is to plant one-eighth to one-quarter the minimum number of plants you think you need.  Asparagus is the exception to that rule.  Asparagus is like money not only in that the best time to have started growing it is 10 years ago, but also in that there is never enough of it to go around. 

            I have an 18-foot row and I find with that I can serve asparagus about twice a week during the season, sharing it grudgingly with guests but never freezing or giving any away.  (The greatest pleasure with most home-grown produce is showering it on your friends.  This is another rule to which asparagus is an exception.)

            Anyway.  After planting asparagus, what you must do is:  wait.  Depending on rainfall, soil temperature and how you hold your mouth, it may be two weeks to two months before you see any action. 

But wait long enough and your seeds will produce dainty, ferny-looking plants.  If you have planted crowns, though, they will send up such perfectly formed spears that my friend Joe once accused me of sneaking out in the night and deploying grocery-store asparagus in the dirt to fool him.

But it is not yet time to break out the butter and lemon and get down to business.  Leave the bed alone at least the first season – the second, too, if you can hold your horses that long.  (If starting from seed, add yet another year.)  The stalks will leaf out into tall, frondy plants which you must allow to stand unmolested as they establish root systems.  Nourish with compost; mulch thickly to prevent weed; otherwise, hands off!

But when it is – finally! – the year to begin harvesting, please do not make the common mistake of waiting to cut asparagus until there is “enough to eat.”  Rather, when the spears come shooting up in early spring, cut them at ground level as soon as they are eating size, generally the first or second morning.  Cutting the stalks stimulates the roots to send up more, and if you don’t, they will begin leafing out. 

Place harvested spears in a Zip-Loc in the refrigerator.  They may look lonely at first, but they will have company enough tomorrow.

How long to keep cutting?  Experts recommend limiting harvest to four weeks the first year, eight thereafter.  What I have found in my own garden is that the asparagus itself seems to “know” when it is time to stop.  The spears come up “looking ferny” and have an air of “wanting” to go into summer growth mode.  Though it is possible I am attributing more sentience to this particular biomass than it deserves, or am barking mad.

In conclusion, an asparagus bed takes time to establish but is otherwise little trouble.  Further, growing asparagus at home allows the gardener to look at the price asked for it at the grocery store and say:

“This is a joke, right?”

Robin Ford Wallace lives in Deerhead Cove, where she plays quietly in the dirt, disturbing no one.